I'll never forget the children I never got to hold...

When I was fifteen I found out I had endometriosis. I was told I would never have children which to some fifteen year olds may have been a relief; but to me I was heartbroken. I had always wanted to have children. When I was 17 I found out I was pregnant; at the first ultrasound we found out there were two heartbeats. I carried my babies with both happiness and worry as they told me that I had a hole in my uterus and that they may have to terminate the pregnancy in order to keep me safe. I choose to carry to full term and was not concerned about myself.

The day of delivery I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy....but my little girl has passed a few days before delivery. I was and still am heartbroken for both myself; my son and the little girl I didn't get to raise. Afterwards I tried again and was lucky enough to give birth to two other beautiful boys three years apart. In between those pregnancy I lost 5 other babies; the weight is still hard at times and knowing that I will always have a struggle when it comes to pregnancy ad only being 28; hurts some days more than others. I'll never forget the children I never got to hold; and reading the stories of others like myself is both a comfort and heartbreaking. It's wonderful to see women and men opening up about their loss and hopefully our voices give a voice to others.