Sometimes I wake up and have trouble finding my purpose in life...
My husband and I have been married for 15 years and trying to get pregnant for 5 of those years. When we started this journey we thought it would be really easy. Both of us love kids and come from large families, I am one of six and my husband is one of five kids. We are still on our journey we have been through 3 IVF cycles and one donor egg cycle with no implantation. We fall in the category of unexplained infertility. This journey has been very hard for us and strains any relationship. We still have a very strong marriage but there are days we want to give up the fight. Both of us are successful in our careers and we feel we can give children an amazing home and a wonderful life. If we stopped our fight for a child we could travel the world every year. Sometimes I wake up and have trouble finding my purpose in life, without a child I feel as though there is no future, no reason to succeed at work, no reason for retirement funds and savings accounts. Yet we still have hope and hope is the most important thing for us at this time. Although we were not aware of any known immunology issues, we have elevated our journey to a specialist in Reproductive Immunology; Dr. Breverman in New York. We recently had all our blood work tests performed and are now awaiting the results. Based on the preliminary findings on these report it looks like we have had an immunologic issue all along but just didn't know about it. We will be consulting with this doctor the end of October and plan to do another IVF cycle soon thereafter. We are really hopeful that we have found the issue causing our failure and can succeed this time. I really wish that the testing being done by this specialist was required back when we started this IVF journey. I can't help but think that if this testing was done then maybe we would already have a beautiful child. A lot of ladies in support groups for IVF and donor egg IVF cycles say things like "This month is going to be my month for success". Well, the next cycle we do will be the cycle for our success.
